And so first: Batman. After that: chicken.
Overall, I found the The Dark Knight Rises to be pretentious, slow and predictable. But I think that it speaks to the movie's strengths that I also was very entertained and enjoyed it a lot. It sure was a long-ass movie for which to attend a midnight showing, let me tell you that. But despite the length, the movie never felt long. It did feel slow, though -- but in a very tense, simmery sort of way. For better or for worse, the vast majority of the movie felt like lead-in, build-up.
When the story finally pulled the trigger, however, it was entirely worth it.
It's actually pretty difficult to really talk about the movie without spoilers, I feel, as its strongest points are the content of its twists and reveals. I mentioned that it was predictable, right? Yeah, it was. But because the movie didn't depend on the "a-ha!" or "gotcha!" of its twists, it actually didn't hurt it. I can't recall any other movie that I've seen -- and to be fair, I haven't seen a lot of movies -- that have had such a satisfying slow-burn of a gradual character back story reveal.
The one purely negative part of my movie-going experience was that I never really got absorbed into the movie. I am seriously really, really easy when it comes to willingly suspending my disbelief and I get embarrassingly emotionally invested in whatever it is that I happen to be watching at the moment, but I always felt a little bit outside of this movie. Part of it might be that I'm not the biggest Batman fan, or at least not the biggest fan of Christopher Nolan's Batman. The Dark Knight for me is dominated by the Joker and Harvey Dent. The Dark Knight Rises is an incredible showcase for Catwoman -- well, Selina Kyle, who is actually never explicitly called "Catwoman" and -- of all people! -- Bane.
It's something that differentiates the Nolan Batman movies from most of the other comic book-based movies that have been being produced lately. Usually, we get stuck with a bland, forgettable villain -- hey, can you remember anything about the villain in the Star Trek reboot except that he was played by Eric Bana? -- but that's all right because it gives us more time to pay attention to the heroes. The Avengers? Who cares about the villain! The intra-team squabbling and hijinks are where it's at. Recent exceptions that I can think of include Watchmen and possibly X-Men: First Class, depending on how we decide to place Magneto on the hero spectrum in that specific movie. The Nolan Batman movies, however, somehow manage to entrance me with the villains/antagonists and have the hero leave me cold.
It's a large part of why I have absolutely no interest in watching Batman Begins. I know the information that is provided by the film and my head hasn't particularly been turned by any exclamations of masterful narrative artistry, so there's nothing much that interests me about it. An origin movie that focuses on the Batman himself? I feel like I have better ways to spend my time.
(Speaking of Batman Begins, Ra's al Ghul is invoked in Dark Knight Rises, which also kicked my brain out of the movie experience. It just always sat a little oddly with me that Ra's al Ghul was played by Liam Neeson. Don't get me wrong -- I love me some Liam Neeson and I'm not commenting upon his performance. But it seems like a dude named Ra's al Ghul from the Arabic peninsula asks, just a little bit, to be played by an actor of Middle Eastern descent. And despite my love for other actors, as well, given the back story that was presented, as much as I would sincerely like to be able to just watch a movie and not be distracted by systematic societal white-washing, well, you can't always get what you want.)
But back to the subject of seeing The Dark Knight Rises, I remember being completely engrossed by The Dark Knight, so I think it's fair to say that my failure to be absorbed wasn't entirely my own apparently Batman-deficient fault.
My laughing really loudly and really inappropriately when Bane executed a classic line and action, however, was entirely me just being an inherent asshole.
I don't know, maybe I was just in an asshole mood overall, because a lot of the Emotional Moments just struck me as being really hammy and overdone. I felt more embarrassed than moved. And as I've mentioned, I am usually a giant softy. I cry at movies, guys. I cry a lot. This one just failed to catch me, somehow.
All of that being said, I am so happy that I went to see it, would not be averse to seeing it again (and am tempted to wear French Revolutionary garb if I do go to another showing) and recommend it for your own cinematic viewing. For all of the parts that didn't win me over, there were a lot of things that did. Least of all not being Selina Kyle riding that motorbike.
Less superficially, while not a Batman aficionado and having no personal connection to the Catwoman mythos, I loved this Catwoman a lot. I'd had no real feelings, either positive or negative, about Anne Hathaway being cast, but I loved what I saw. I had actually been reading a story just the other day that was based on the premise of Tony Stark being a woman -- there is actually an alternate universe in the comics where that's true -- and thinking about how I wished there were more roguish women characters. And then, in waltzed Selina, a badass chaotic neutral, playing the cad with a self-centered swagger usually reserved for the bad boys but also the poise and amazing lipstick of a woman who's learned to work the system. And while she bears the scars that anyone growing up tough would have, her attitude doesn't exist just as a cover for some wounded vulnerability inside. I've actually been feeling pretty happy about a lot of the badass women I've been seeing on the screen lately. Between Selina, Agent Peggy Carter from Captain America and Natasha Romanov from The Avengers, I'm in kind of a happy place right now.
Also, I'm hoping that between Natasha and Selina, I'll be able to get the components for my Halloween costume a little easier. And no, the costume is neither the Black Widow nor Catwoman.
I do appreciate science writers' efforts to be topically relevant. One of the things that I got from my inbox today was that "Advising a parent to ask their child 'What would Batman eat?' might be a realistic step to take in what could be a healthier fast-food world." [The Scientist]
I mean, hell, it works on me. When I first started walking/running, I would yell at myself that if I couldn't even walk one mile, how would I be able to get the One Ring to Mordor? Do you know how much fucking walking and running they do in the Lord of the Rings? They walk all the fucking time. If I was going to be ready when I was called upon for my own quest, I needed to push myself for that extra half-mile!
So yeah, asking myself what Batman would eat? Actually, that probably wouldn't motivate me all that much. And asking myself what Tony Stark would eat would just add one more factor into my life trying to turn me into an alcoholic. What would Steve Rogers or Natasha Romanov eat, though? I'm all over that.
I'm not sure about Natasha, but I think that Steve might eat what I cooked up over the past week or so. I've been spending a lot of time on the road, and will be heading out again this weekend, so I've been cooking less. But that's also been freeing, in a way, since it reminds me that I don't have to be -- and, indeed, under these circumstances, shouldn't be -- cooking in bulk. I can just make a single meal! And then change it up for the next one!
And so, I put to use a package of three chicken breasts in three not-particularly-radically-so-but-still-different ways.
First up last week was some sweet ginger stir-fried chicken and fuck-all if I remember what veggies with leftover quinoa. No pictures because it honestly looked pretty boring. But it was quick and delicious and nicely filling after a workout without being heavy.
-1 chicken breast -1 inch fresh ginger root, grated -Chinese five spice powder -canola oil -leftover vegetables and fuck all if I can't remember what they were and now it's driving me crazy -leftover quinoa
I am a big fan of Chinese five spice powder. Containing cinnamon, star anise, fennel, ginger, cloves, white pepper and licorice root, it was apparently named by people who couldn't count and is a good way for adding some sweet to the savory in a warm, non-sugary way. It's flavor is very strong, though, so seriously, don't dump on a lot.
I just chopped up the chicken breast, warmed some oil in the wok, tossed in the chicken, tossed the ginger on top, stir-fried it about halfway cooked, added in a couple pinches of five-spice powder and finished cooking the chicken all the way through. For stir-frying chicken, I generally use the poke test for determining doneness. The meat should be firm, not bouncy, if it's done. Overcooked chicken is one of the worst things in the world, in my opinion, so I stay pretty closely on it, and the second it seems like the biggest piece is just about to be done, I dump all of the meat out of the wok and onto the plate.
A few days later, life called for some fiesta chicken and home fries. I call it "fiesta chicken" because I put guacamole on it and actually know nothing about Latin cooking.
-1 chicken breast -olive oil -lime juice -cilantro -jalapeno -leftovers from the best home fries ever -spicy guacamole -veggie chips
I dumped the chicken breast in a bowl with olive oil, a pretty good amount of lime juice and dried cilantro and jalapeno because I didn't have any fresh. I let that marinate for a while. Then, I heated up my grill pan -- one of my favorite kitchen tools -- to very hot. Tossed on the chicken. Let it cook for about three minutes, then picked it up with some tongs and turned it 90 degrees and cooked it for another couple minutes more. Then, I flipped it, let it cook about about three minutes, turned it 90 degrees again and cooked it a couple minutes more.
The chicken actually was pretty thick and didn't end up being cooked entirely all the way through. I preferred that -- as I've mentioned, overcooked chicken is anathema to me -- and one minute on high in the microwave finished it up nicely.
Plated it with reheated home fries and some veggie chips. Then dolloped some spicy guac on the home fries and the chicken, adding a piece of red pepper from the home fries to the chicken because it looked pretty.
Something I continued to discover during my weekend away is how cooking at home reduces my eating-out costs and calories by making a lot of food out there less tempting. If I can cook the same thing -- and sometimes cook it better, I thought, as I eyed some plain home fries that sat in pools of orange-y grease -- why would I want to fill up on this stuff?
When I got back, stir-fried ginger garlic chicken and spinach (with brown rice) were on the menu.
-chicken breast -1 inch fresh ginger root, grated -2 big-ass cloves of garlic -1 bag of fresh spinach -1 big spoonful of low-sodium soy sauce -canola oil
Chopped the chicken and garlic, grated the ginger. Heated the oil in the wok and stir-fried the garlic until it just started to brown. Then, in went the chicken, followed by the ginger. When the chicken was almost finished cooking, I added the spinach. Kept on stirring that in until it began to wilt, at which point I added the soy sauce. Stir-fried a little longer, and ka-pow!
Given that I'm heading out of town again this coming weekend -- and planning to eat quite handsomely during that time -- I've been trying to stay in clear-out-the-fridge mode. But when I dropped into the co-op to pick up some salad materials the other day, they had several reduced items, near their sell-by dates, in the butcher bins.
And I said, "Fuck tofu stiry-fry in the eye."
Bleu cheese and bacon burger on grilled kaiser roll with garlic sauteed spinach with vidalia onion and shiitake mushroom!
-burger from the grocery store -kaiser roll from grocery story -1 bag of fresh spinach -1 big ol' vidalia onion -some shiitake mushrooms -3 big-ass cloves of garlic -olive oil
The mushrooms were actually pretty old and had gotten dried and shriveled. A short soak in some water, though, and they were good as new and I felt really Asian. Chopped up the garlic, onion and mushrooms. Threw the garlic in a large pan with some olive oil and started that going on medium for just a couple minutes. After that, I added the onions, aiming for them to go translucent.
Meanwhile, I heated up the grill pan to very hot. Tossed on a burger. I like my meat medium rare, so I found that five minutes on one side and then three minutes on the other side worked.
The mushrooms got added to the veggie pan next. After that, the spinach, just until it was wilted. Then I turned off the heat and let it just sit in the pan.
When the burger was done cooking, I removed it from the pan and let it rest on the plate. As it was taking its breather, I put the halved kaiser roll on the grill pan. Just a minute or two and it was all toasted up like a burger bun should be.
And there you have it!
And holy shit, it was leftover rainbow chard. That went with my first chicken meal. That has seriously been bothering me for over 24 hours now.
In the end: this chick could break you.
FAKE-OUT: YOUTUBE DOUBLE-WHAMMY
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