It can be easy to blur the line between failure implied by running away and the positivity of making a fresh start.
Writing this ended up taking much longer than I had expected, as I got lost in a giant mess of nostalgia as I went back to look at my online journaling from the start -- over a decade ago, on LiveJournal. One thing I can say is that I shall never lack for entertainment so long as I have myself, which is great for me and probably terrible for everyone else. But it's quite a trip, looking back at my younger self exploring the then-new frontier of online self-publishing.
And after all of that time, however, LiveJournal's recent service issues, coming on top of a number of other bumps in the road over the past few years as the site has changed hands, has pushed me out of my inertia -- no small task. I had, for years now, wished for a different journal username (after all, who really makes good decisions at age fifteen?), but didn't want to upset my established identity. The loss of LiveJournal's functionality finally gave me the push that I needed. I feel a little like a character in Rent, with LiveJournal having become Benny, formerly one of us but now attempting to gentrify the neighborhood via eviction if necessary.
I think, too, that it's the right time in my life to do so. Trivial as it all may seem, my tender years were spent spilling my thoughts, fears, dreams, joys and all the things that are the EP record of a life into that space. I made friends there, so many friends. It's a different place now -- those wild early days of shaping a new social scene have forever passed and many people have packed up their ships to the Grey Havens and moved on. But it wasn't something I could do until the time was right for me.
So, welcome to the start.
Digital existentialism aside, I had a very low-key New Year's. I head right back into rehearsal on Monday, so I need to spend all of tomorrow girding my loins and didn't want to start myself off at a disadvantage. Nevertheless, I made sure to have myself a good time. It's been a one-man dance party in my apartment all evening. Open bar, too. (With the whole "productivity" goal for tomorrow, I did not, in fact, get as lit as a Christmas tree -- I'd say maybe a menorah on the second night of Hanukkah.) And I secured myself in my own vanity and made sure to get dressed up really nicely for myself, too.
I also know for a fact that my hair wouldn't look half as fabulous as it does tonight if I'd had plans to actually go out. Is there some named law for this? The Murphy's Law of hair, so to speak. Asking some friends, it was suggested that the "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" Principle applies here, but I personally consider the phenomenon to be specific and notable enough to have its own title.
In any case, the song that my iTunes was playing at midnight was none other than that classic, "Dancing Queen." Granted, it was from a playlist -- the best one I have created in while, entitled "Fabulous" but which could also be accurately called "Glitter and Be Gay" -- so the selection was guaranteed to be of a certain ilk. Still, said playlist does have 226 songs and was on shuffle, which I believe legitimizes it enough to consider it to have been my fortune for 2012.
2012 shall be the year of the Dancing Queen.
Here's to an explosively fresh New Year for everyone!
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